It’s my blog and I write what I want.

Let me address a rather mean comment that was left on one of my blog posts accusing me of ‘not caring about the world and global issues’. Listen, bro, I am a young adult in my senior year of high school. I voted in this years midterm. I take part in my school’s various awareness groups (Gay-Straight Alliance, Gender Equality Club…which technically isn’t a real club and we talk about race issues and other social problems as well, and some others) and I am very aware of global problems.

But alas, I am a mere teenager trying to handle teenage things by writing them out to the internet and asking for advice and opinions. That’s all. That’s it. If you want someone who will rant for pages and pages about how much they hate men’s rights groups and how the police are acting out in Ferguson, find another blog to read.

Don’t get me wrong, I care about feminism (or, if you’re scared of that term, egalitarianism) and racism, and the hate in the world. I can rant and rave and share my opinions and debate for hours. But what is that going to do? It’s going to make me mad, make people reading about this stuff mad, and just add to the chaos. I will debate my peers and try to teach them/learn from them about many different topics. I was actually planning a post about abortions and birth control pretty soon (don’t get your panties in a twist just yet, I have yet to figure out exactly how to handle those topics).

Just don’t tell me I don’t care, because I do. If you WANT to hear my opinion on a specific issue, drop me a comment and I would LOVE to talk about it. I just want the world to be better, and sometimes just repeating the negative doesn’t help.

An angry letter from a future housewife

I am part of a mixed generation. Half of us have grown up with our gender roles enforced and our families on the traditional side. Others of us have grown up with people saying, “You can do whatever you want and everyone deserves to be treated equally!” I grew up with both. My Mom’s family has a very traditionalist look on things. I’ve written about their women-in-the-kitchen attitude before. My Dad believes that everyone should be treated equally and that women deserve more rights than they have (equal pay, hours, job opportunities). 

Personally? I think I’d like to get a Master’s degree and teach at a college. I’d like to make decent money, have a nice house, and do some serious global travel with my spouse. Then, when I’ve been all the places I’ve wanted and yearned to go and had all the adventures of a young person in love yadda yadda, I’d like to settle down and have kids. I would enjoy teaching and then coming home and making dinner for my husband. I would have fun cleaning the house, teaching my children manners and etiquette and chivalry. It would make me happy to live with a feminine role in my household. 

Suddenly, when I voice that opinion, people are telling me you can’t do that. Why? Just because I WANT to have a traditional role in a family doesn’t mean I- but it will set a bad example for your children. How? I will teach them that they can be whatever they want and if my daughter wants to be Iron Man for Halloween or my son wants to be a Princess I’ll- but then how will they have a solid identity? Wait, what? Just because I intend to let them make their own choices doesn’t mean I’m not going to help them develop a sense of self- so you ARE going to reinforce their gender roles! NO. I’M GOING TO DO WHAT I THINK ANY GOOD PARENT SHOULD. Nurture your child in a way that they’re comfortable with. 

Set good examples. Teach manners and etiquette and kindness and honesty. Teach them to love the people around them and take care of their environment. Instill in them a sense of self, whether they turn out to be trans, genderfluid, gay, or anything else. Love them for who they are and show them through example that love is unconditional. Discipline them appropriately, but do not be too harsh or too lenient. Teach them fairness and understanding and how consequences work.

Yeah, I’m a teenage girl and I’m pretty sure I’ve figured out how to parent a kid better than some of the adults I know. And so what if I have a long time before I have kids? I have standards and ideals and ideas and nobody is going to tell me that what makes me happy is wrong. So hand me an apron, because I am a future housewife and I am totally, utterly happy with that.

Virginity in the Media

Or exactly the opposite, really. How long have people been writing love songs FULL of double entendres, trying to get the idea through? And now, with lyrics so open about what’s going on, it’s kind of sickening. I found a list (via Google) of The Top Ten Songs About Losing Your Virginity. My search term? “Songs about virginity”. There weren’t any songs empowering women to make their own choices or keep their virginity. None that strengthen people to the idea that it’s a precious gift worth keeping.

Where is the song explaining the feeling of loss when it’s gone? Or the emotional trauma that some people go through after having sex for the first time? The song that gives the chemical effects (of having sex) on the body, where’s that? I want music that tells me that my choice isn’t strange or wrong. 

Robin Thicke’s famous song “Blurred Lines” has gotten a lot of backlash as being offensive and demoralizing to women, but somehow it still remains high on the charts and popular on the radios. Katy Perry’s song “Roar” explains that she a let a man (presumably) push her down and now she’s taking back her self-confidence. Why let them get you down in the first place?

We have horrible double-standards. Not only for men but for women. If a guy has sex with a lot of women he’s impressive but if a girl has sex with a lot of men she’s a slut or whore. There should be one universal label. The same goes for women who date younger men and are empowered and men who date younger women and suddenly become social pariahs. Everyone should be held to one standard.

Having grown up in a family where men were considered slightly better than women in the way they were treated, I have a deep seated respect for the opposite sex. But I’m also very strong in my opinion that I am equal to them. Nobody is telling me that my worth comes from my downstairs region. Nobody is going to convince me that my choice is wrong and sex is the only way to keep a guy. 

If he thinks that sex is the only reason to stay, he’s the wrong man. So long, farewell! 

The media needs to change things up a bit and remember that women are strong and important. Losing your virginity is your own choice (no matter what gender you are) and it’s up to you to do what you think is right. Just don’t let anyone else be the deciding factor.