An Angry Letter to My School

I am not a child anymore. I am an adult. I can vote, I can buy cigarettes, I can get arrested, so why don’t you listen to me? You ask for my opinion, you ask me to report bullying, but you never follow through. You mark me as a problem child and say that my opinions are not valid because I am a child. But I am not, I am an adult.

I have been bullied and sexually harassed on school grounds. You did nothing. You took the boy’s side of the story and, since he was an upperclassman, said I was trying to get attention and be a more popular freshman. You think I wanted popularity? I wanted the guy who shoved his tongue down my throat and groped my breast without permission to get in trouble. Do you understand the trauma that came with that experience? I wasn’t trusting of guys for the next year or so, even in my relationship. I was terrified of being alone at school and I was hateful of the grown-ups who ignored me and my hurt.

I have to work a job that goes until 10 at night, meaning I usually don’t sleep until a little after 11. I have to get up at 6am and stay awake for roughly 17 plus hours. Between college applications, work, homework, extracurricular activities (which I apparently need to be a ‘well-rounded’ student), and school spirit things like games, I am TOTALLY SWAMPED. But you don’t respect me. What am I supposed to do?

I am only an adult when it is convenient for you, like when I fall asleep during class cause I was up till 1am doing homework. Or when I’m being bullied and try to report it, or when I’ve been sexually harassed, or when I might have something suspicious in my bag, or when I’m late because I was trying to finish that homework before class because I worked late and fell asleep at my desk before I could finish it.

Why am I not a valid human being to you? Not all teenagers are disrespectful little shits. I want to be a teacher, I understand the difficulty that is dealing with my peer group. I have to deal with them every day, and I still want to pursue a career in academia. What is your problem with considering me a real person with opinions and ideas that count?

Why don’t you listen? Why don’t you care about something other than a pep rally or a schedule mix-up? Why can’t you take care of the students that need your help? Why do you give special treatment to the quarterback who grabbed my ass and called me cutie against my will? Why don’t students with good grades and bad attitudes get punished for their misdeeds? Why does the sports team get special treatment, or the upper level choir students? Why am I a problem because I’m bringing these things up?

I’m not your problem, but you’re definitely mine.

Suicide Jokes are Always in Bad Taste

“Did you see where Maggie’s car went? Her dad moved it.”

“So why did she go back there?”

“Maybe to kill herself.”

Maybe to kill herself? Excuse me? Do you understand the words that just came out of your mouth? You’re joking about a close friend of yours ending her life. That’s not funny. That’s not silly or goofy or hilarious. It’s not laugh worthy. It’s sad. It’s rude. It’s a horrible joke made in bad taste.

Don’t ever make a suicide joke. People around you can hear you. People around you may have suicidal tendencies, may have self-harm issues. You making those jokes might do more damage to a hurting person than your laughs are worth. Or your buddies laughing with you. Even if I really disliked someone, even if I outright called them an asshole to their face I would NEVER tell them to kill themselves. I wouldn’t wish death or self-harm or depression on anyone I know. They hurt, they kill. Words hurt, and words can kill just as easily.

There’s a big difference between someone saying, “I’m tired. I feel dead.” and someone saying, “I’m exhausted. I wish I was dead.”

I have been suicidal. I have self-harmed. Don’t make those jokes around me.

The thing that really ticks me off is when I pointed out that the joke was hurtful, the boy replied with, “Gosh, you really killed the mood.” Who the hell do you think you are? Just think before you speak. That’s all I’m asking for. Not a miracle, not for you to speak to me again, just for you to be careful about what you say and who you say it around. 

Virginity in the Media

Or exactly the opposite, really. How long have people been writing love songs FULL of double entendres, trying to get the idea through? And now, with lyrics so open about what’s going on, it’s kind of sickening. I found a list (via Google) of The Top Ten Songs About Losing Your Virginity. My search term? “Songs about virginity”. There weren’t any songs empowering women to make their own choices or keep their virginity. None that strengthen people to the idea that it’s a precious gift worth keeping.

Where is the song explaining the feeling of loss when it’s gone? Or the emotional trauma that some people go through after having sex for the first time? The song that gives the chemical effects (of having sex) on the body, where’s that? I want music that tells me that my choice isn’t strange or wrong. 

Robin Thicke’s famous song “Blurred Lines” has gotten a lot of backlash as being offensive and demoralizing to women, but somehow it still remains high on the charts and popular on the radios. Katy Perry’s song “Roar” explains that she a let a man (presumably) push her down and now she’s taking back her self-confidence. Why let them get you down in the first place?

We have horrible double-standards. Not only for men but for women. If a guy has sex with a lot of women he’s impressive but if a girl has sex with a lot of men she’s a slut or whore. There should be one universal label. The same goes for women who date younger men and are empowered and men who date younger women and suddenly become social pariahs. Everyone should be held to one standard.

Having grown up in a family where men were considered slightly better than women in the way they were treated, I have a deep seated respect for the opposite sex. But I’m also very strong in my opinion that I am equal to them. Nobody is telling me that my worth comes from my downstairs region. Nobody is going to convince me that my choice is wrong and sex is the only way to keep a guy. 

If he thinks that sex is the only reason to stay, he’s the wrong man. So long, farewell! 

The media needs to change things up a bit and remember that women are strong and important. Losing your virginity is your own choice (no matter what gender you are) and it’s up to you to do what you think is right. Just don’t let anyone else be the deciding factor.

Like We Used To

This song is absolutely amazing. Not only because it gives perspective to a very common happening in life, but because in the end, it turns out alright. Not in the way I thought it was going to, but I was happily surprised.
This is just a good song.
And a good band. A Rocket to the Moon also wrote one of my new favorites: “Mr. Right”.