Virginity in the Media

Or exactly the opposite, really. How long have people been writing love songs FULL of double entendres, trying to get the idea through? And now, with lyrics so open about what’s going on, it’s kind of sickening. I found a list (via Google) of The Top Ten Songs About Losing Your Virginity. My search term? “Songs about virginity”. There weren’t any songs empowering women to make their own choices or keep their virginity. None that strengthen people to the idea that it’s a precious gift worth keeping.

Where is the song explaining the feeling of loss when it’s gone? Or the emotional trauma that some people go through after having sex for the first time? The song that gives the chemical effects (of having sex) on the body, where’s that? I want music that tells me that my choice isn’t strange or wrong. 

Robin Thicke’s famous song “Blurred Lines” has gotten a lot of backlash as being offensive and demoralizing to women, but somehow it still remains high on the charts and popular on the radios. Katy Perry’s song “Roar” explains that she a let a man (presumably) push her down and now she’s taking back her self-confidence. Why let them get you down in the first place?

We have horrible double-standards. Not only for men but for women. If a guy has sex with a lot of women he’s impressive but if a girl has sex with a lot of men she’s a slut or whore. There should be one universal label. The same goes for women who date younger men and are empowered and men who date younger women and suddenly become social pariahs. Everyone should be held to one standard.

Having grown up in a family where men were considered slightly better than women in the way they were treated, I have a deep seated respect for the opposite sex. But I’m also very strong in my opinion that I am equal to them. Nobody is telling me that my worth comes from my downstairs region. Nobody is going to convince me that my choice is wrong and sex is the only way to keep a guy. 

If he thinks that sex is the only reason to stay, he’s the wrong man. So long, farewell! 

The media needs to change things up a bit and remember that women are strong and important. Losing your virginity is your own choice (no matter what gender you are) and it’s up to you to do what you think is right. Just don’t let anyone else be the deciding factor.

Why people learn languages

“You already have three language credits in Spanish, why take ASL if you already met the graduation requirement?” 

“Why do you need another language?”

“Why learn to speak ASL?”

“Are you only learning it because you’re a fan of Switched at Birth?”

I get asked these questions a lot, and I’m kind of used to answering them by now. My friends don’t understand why I’m so dedicated to learning American Sign Language, and that’s okay. To each their own. 

So let me set the record straight: I am not only learning ASL because of Switched at Birth, as good as that show is. I am learning it because the language is beautiful, the culture is beautiful, and the people are beautiful. I’m entranced, absorbed, obsessed, in love with this language. 

My Grandmother worked in her local deaf program for years with deaf and hard-of-hearing students. I used to go to school with her when I was little and I hung out a lot with those kids. They gave me a name sign, called me their friend, and taught me some of their language. I instantly fell in love, even as a child. I’ve found that it’s easy for me to pick it up and I’m learning ahead of my class. I find signs and learn to construct sentences outside of the classroom. My older brother and I often chat in ASL (I’ve been teaching him) when we’re bored or just for fun. My grandma and I trade Youtube videos of us signing questions or life updates to each other. 

I’m learning, absorbing, and creating something with this language. I want to learn it, I need to learn it. It’s something that just calls to my soul. 

I’m a hearing person and constantly worried about offending deaf or hard-of-hearing people. What if I screw up? What if they think I think of them like bugs under a microscope? What if I mess up horribly when talking to them and they hate me? Am I allowed to want to learn so much about their culture, or is that being intrusive and offensive somehow? 

I’m just madly, passionately in love with them and their language. I want to be part of it. I want to speak it. I’m not a CODA, I’m not related to deaf people in any way (no one in my family is deaf or hard-of-hearing), but I’m desperately in love with it. All of it. Hell, I’m looking into the Hearing Undergraduate Program at Gallaudet University.

That’s why I’m learning. That’s why I’m going past the average language credits. That’s why I am an ASL student.