I am part of a mixed generation. Half of us have grown up with our gender roles enforced and our families on the traditional side. Others of us have grown up with people saying, “You can do whatever you want and everyone deserves to be treated equally!” I grew up with both. My Mom’s family has a very traditionalist look on things. I’ve written about their women-in-the-kitchen attitude before. My Dad believes that everyone should be treated equally and that women deserve more rights than they have (equal pay, hours, job opportunities).
Personally? I think I’d like to get a Master’s degree and teach at a college. I’d like to make decent money, have a nice house, and do some serious global travel with my spouse. Then, when I’ve been all the places I’ve wanted and yearned to go and had all the adventures of a young person in love yadda yadda, I’d like to settle down and have kids. I would enjoy teaching and then coming home and making dinner for my husband. I would have fun cleaning the house, teaching my children manners and etiquette and chivalry. It would make me happy to live with a feminine role in my household.
Suddenly, when I voice that opinion, people are telling me you can’t do that. Why? Just because I WANT to have a traditional role in a family doesn’t mean I- but it will set a bad example for your children. How? I will teach them that they can be whatever they want and if my daughter wants to be Iron Man for Halloween or my son wants to be a Princess I’ll- but then how will they have a solid identity? Wait, what? Just because I intend to let them make their own choices doesn’t mean I’m not going to help them develop a sense of self- so you ARE going to reinforce their gender roles! NO. I’M GOING TO DO WHAT I THINK ANY GOOD PARENT SHOULD. Nurture your child in a way that they’re comfortable with.
Set good examples. Teach manners and etiquette and kindness and honesty. Teach them to love the people around them and take care of their environment. Instill in them a sense of self, whether they turn out to be trans, genderfluid, gay, or anything else. Love them for who they are and show them through example that love is unconditional. Discipline them appropriately, but do not be too harsh or too lenient. Teach them fairness and understanding and how consequences work.
Yeah, I’m a teenage girl and I’m pretty sure I’ve figured out how to parent a kid better than some of the adults I know. And so what if I have a long time before I have kids? I have standards and ideals and ideas and nobody is going to tell me that what makes me happy is wrong. So hand me an apron, because I am a future housewife and I am totally, utterly happy with that.
groundlingsup 