Virginity in the Media

Or exactly the opposite, really. How long have people been writing love songs FULL of double entendres, trying to get the idea through? And now, with lyrics so open about what’s going on, it’s kind of sickening. I found a list (via Google) of The Top Ten Songs About Losing Your Virginity. My search term? “Songs about virginity”. There weren’t any songs empowering women to make their own choices or keep their virginity. None that strengthen people to the idea that it’s a precious gift worth keeping.

Where is the song explaining the feeling of loss when it’s gone? Or the emotional trauma that some people go through after having sex for the first time? The song that gives the chemical effects (of having sex) on the body, where’s that? I want music that tells me that my choice isn’t strange or wrong. 

Robin Thicke’s famous song “Blurred Lines” has gotten a lot of backlash as being offensive and demoralizing to women, but somehow it still remains high on the charts and popular on the radios. Katy Perry’s song “Roar” explains that she a let a man (presumably) push her down and now she’s taking back her self-confidence. Why let them get you down in the first place?

We have horrible double-standards. Not only for men but for women. If a guy has sex with a lot of women he’s impressive but if a girl has sex with a lot of men she’s a slut or whore. There should be one universal label. The same goes for women who date younger men and are empowered and men who date younger women and suddenly become social pariahs. Everyone should be held to one standard.

Having grown up in a family where men were considered slightly better than women in the way they were treated, I have a deep seated respect for the opposite sex. But I’m also very strong in my opinion that I am equal to them. Nobody is telling me that my worth comes from my downstairs region. Nobody is going to convince me that my choice is wrong and sex is the only way to keep a guy. 

If he thinks that sex is the only reason to stay, he’s the wrong man. So long, farewell! 

The media needs to change things up a bit and remember that women are strong and important. Losing your virginity is your own choice (no matter what gender you are) and it’s up to you to do what you think is right. Just don’t let anyone else be the deciding factor.

Why my virginity is important to me

Why is it that high school students think being with someone for a long time means you have to have sex with them? I had a year and a half relationship and during that time I did not see anything below his waist. And that was fine with both of us. There is absolutely no need for two kids in high school to have sex in order to enjoy a mature and working relationship.

Are kids going to stop having sexual activity? No. Are they going to regret it? Maybe, it depends on the person. Is there a lot of risk involved? Yes. Is it necessary? Absolutely not.

When I was twelve years old, my mother asked me to make a promise to her, myself, and God that I would not engage in intercourse until I was married. On the basis of my foolish and naive religious ideals as a child, I agreed, and we purchased my first purity ring together. I wore it for three years until it got too small. When I was fifteen, my purity ring took a break until we could find a new one and people noticed. “Did you really?” They would ask, shocked.

“No, I just need a new one because the old one no longer fits,” I would explain. They usually looked relieved. Was I some sort of symbol of hope? Was I holding people accountable that I wasn’t even aware of? Am I? I don’t know.

Now that I’ve grown up quite a bit, I know that my virginity is something precious to me that I’m not going to just give away to a high school boyfriend. Or to a fiance. I am going to keep it for my husband and for our wedding night. It’s not about religion anymore, it’s about me feeling good about myself. I’m clean, pure, happy, and in no way ashamed of myself or my body or my decisions. 

So what if society says it’s unusual? I’m a virgin, and I’m perfectly happy with that.