The fine line between RUDE and FUNNY (hint, you crossed it)

I have a friend who I love dearly who doesn’t necessarily understand when he’s crossed a boundary. We were sitting at lunch the other day, chatting, when he suddenly said, “Jane, I think I know why you and Daniel  haven’t done anything (sexual) yet.”

“Why is that?” I asked, ready for an amusing but respectful suggestion. This topic came up once and awhile and I put up with it because, as horny teens, my friends don’t always understand why I haven’t “gotten laid” after over a year with Daniel. I was completely ready for a joke. I was not prepared for…

“He wants it up the ass.”

Excuse me? Did I hear you right? Okay, okay, my Dad jokes about Daniel being gay sometimes. But my Dad has made gay jokes about EVERY BOY I’VE EVER MENTIONED, including the ones he knows I have no feelings for, especially the exceedingly straight ones. This friend, who is gay and who is very vocal about it (I have heard the stories of most of his sexual exploits) just made a really rude joke. A friend who I have always tried to be kind to, even at his most irritating.

But this friend, who I have supported through his entire coming out process, just insulted my boyfriend. Just insulted me.

Yeah, Daniel and I aren’t physically intimate, but that’s our decision. Is it frustrating to me sometimes? Duh. Do I sometimes whine about it when I’m particularly hormonal? Of course, I’m a teenager.

Daniel and I are emotionally intimate and that really makes up for the few-and-far-between make out sessions on one of our couches.

Now I’m not saying that my friend calling Daniel gay is super insulting, but I could deal with “He’s gay, honey.” I could tolerate that. I hear it from my Dad, like I said, so it’s easy for me to brush off. But blatantly and loudly declaring that he wants it up the ass is just rude. Rude and mean. You know I’m sort of self-conscious about this topic, you know it hurts sometimes when people suggest Daniel simply doesn’t want me physically, but for you to say that to me…ouch. That just sucks, dude.

Musicals are way better than real life (except RENT)

I’ve been goofing around all morning listening to song from some of my favorite musicals. Some of them are Broadway popular, some I prefer the film.

Newsies, a 1992 Disney musical starring the one-and-only Christian Bale as a New York newsboy is probably one of my favorites with upbeat songs like “Carryin’ the Banner”, “Seize the Day”, and “King of New York”. It’s a perky musical and makes me feel optimistic and happy.

Then there are songs from Wicked, such as “No Good Deed”, and “As Long as You’re Mine”. Dark, brooding, and beautiful.

Of course there is also the oddly energetic Addams Family Musical with “When You’re An Addams”, “Crazier Than You”, and “Pulled”, a particular favorite of mine.

When I’m feeling bright and silly, I have Legally Blonde: The Musical and “Ohmigod You Guys”.

I really enjoy love songs the most. Songs that make you feel things in ways that regular music genres cannot. I mean, I can connect to The Mountain Goats or Tchaikovsky or even Iron Maiden emotionally, but nothing makes me feel like musical songs. If I could sing, I would sing Daniel “As Long as You’re Mine” or “I Can Do Better” (The Last 5 Years). 

There are also songs for when I feel sad, including “Think of Me” (Phantom of the Opera) or “Maybe” (Annie). I don’t know why, but musicals are so comforting. Find yourself some favorites and listen to them. Don’t be afraid to be proud of musical theatre. It’s fantastic!

There is no “I O U” in LOVE


I wrote this for my other blog that I co-write with a friend. This is relevant in my life. Yeah.

Originally posted on The Guide to Girls:

This is more of a general post and it’s all about emotions! If you’re only here for the sex, run away now.

I have this problem in my relationship, and I don’t know about anyone else, but it seems to be pretty common: you make a lot of sacrifices because you think you owe your partner something for some reason. I do it because my boyfriend (let’s call him D) takes really good care of me during depressive episodes. I think that because D cares for me, I should sacrifice something to pay him back.

To be honest, that’s not how it should work. This should not by any means be interpreted as ‘go tally up all the things you sacrificed for your partner and demand reward’. What I mean is: be aware of things that should be natural in a relationship and things that are going out of your…

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A Boob by Any Other Name…

I do not understand why people, men especially, get so upset by women breastfeeding in public. It is a boob! That is what boobs are for! When the universe created the boob, its purpose was not “hmmm this would look great in sexy lingerie or in a porn”, no. The universe made boobs, put some tubing inside them, and said, “ah yes, we shall use these to feed the spawn of the human race.”

That’s it, ladies and gents. That’s what they’re for! People in so many other parts of the world can breastfeed in public because the porn industry is so much bigger in the States. We have taken something crucial to infants and mothers in the early stages of bonding and human development and created something horrible out of it.

There shouldn’t even be an argument. Scientifically, biologically, it’s safer and healthier for an infant to breastfeed. Children receive vital nutrients from breast milk that they cannot properly replicate in most formulas.Babies can process illnesses through breast milk that strengthen their immune systems. Children who breastfeed are less likely to get sick. It also bonds the child with the mother and increases maternal instinct, which helps with parent-child relationships later in life.

Accidents involving breastfeeding in bathrooms (ew, public bathrooms), or using blankets (suffocation and overheating) are common. It’s not the mother’s fault in most cases, either, because the situation won’t allow for anything else. And don’t go starting with all of that “but she could pump it at home!” shit. Sure, she could, but do you know about how long it takes for a breast to develop milk? Do you know how painful it is when you can’t relieve the pressure in your chest? It sucks. Ladies almost always get the short end of the societal norm stick.

A boob is not for your pleasure, it is for supporting the life of a child. So next time you think about giving a mother a dirty look for breastfeeding in public, think again. Just don’t.

Meeting Peter Pan

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This was the experience of my lifetime. I finally got to meet the costumed personification of my entire childhood! He was super nice.

I asked him to sign my journal and he looked through it, asking if these were my adventures and how many pirates I’d fought. He also asked me about my name and told me about his spelling problems. I asked if I could be the very first lost girl, even though the title technically belonged to Jane. He said, “Jane was just a story! You can be the real Very First Lost Girl!”

It made my life. This guy who shows up and does this as a job has made every second of the 18 years of my life so far so much better. Thank you, Peter Pan.