I don’t know why I feel so left out. I mean, I have Theatre. That’s my place. I belong there and I’m happy there and I have no urge to leave that safe place and join anyone else’s little clique. Why, then, am I so easily irritated when Bryce, Britney, and Dan start spouting off about drumline? “Cadences” this and “band camp” that. I’m out on some great big joke and it nearly never stops. I don’t go around talking to them about booms, rigs, set design, costume pieces with funny names, or technical theatre speak. I always try to include them, invite them into my world. I understand that I can’t take a step into the drum lounge, that it’s off limits, but they make the entire business seem like a mafia of sorts.
It’s not only that, it’s the fact that Daniel has made so many plans for summer. I don’t begrudge him his plans. I’m sure most of them were made before I was even considered for girlfriendship, but it kind of stings when he says that he’ll be really busy so offhandedly. Like it’s not a huge deal that we might not get to spend very much time together, and he makes it sound like that will be the case.
I wanted to spend time with you. I only have this last year left before you run off to England, probably without me, and I never see you again. Next summer will be full of college panic.
I understand. He’s a busy person, always has been. Schoolwork, camping, getting a job, doing street performing, drumline rehearsals every Tuesday and Thursday and band camp in August are all various examples. I have work and a trip to Washington D.C. with my family to look forward to. That’s it. I had so many fun dates and adventures planned!
Day trips to fun places, mixed CDs, picnics, bonfires, parties with friends, just enjoying summer together like teenagers are supposed to do when they’re in love. I’m being selfish, I know, but it still hurts, ya know? It sucks being ignored or pushed aside by someone you really care for. Honestly, if this summer turns out the way last summer did…I don’t know what’s going to happen.
groundlingsup 