The Story of How I Almost Died

So that was a dramatic way of putting the fact I’ve now officially shopped at Victoria’s Secret! It was terrifying, though, I’m not going to lie.

I walked in once, thinking that it was one place I might as well try. I ended up walking through every store in the mall and comparing bra and underwear prices and quality before just showing back up at Victoria’s Secret. They were having a sale and all their really cute panties (which are surprisingly high quality, I discovered) were around three dollars each. Their bras were also two for the price of one. How could I shop anywhere else?

I, being the violently awkward person that I am, had no clue what bra size I was. I’ve had the same five or six of them for years. The ladies who worked there were super helpful, even showing me around and helping me pick out the most comfortable styles. It wasn’t close to closing time, either, so they weren’t trying to get me out of there quickly. They legitimately helped me out as I awkwardly inspected underwear I wouldn’t dream of wearing in real life.

But somehow I ended up walking out with quite a lot for not a lot of money. It was wonderful.

Now I’m an adult, with real adult underwear. I’m pretty proud of myself. Helpful people deserve more credit, because an experience I was absolutely dreading actually ended up scoring me a new favorite store.

Boy’s Sweatshirts and People Who Look at My Butt

Two very interesting topics, which I am going to touch on separately. Okay, round one: Boy’s Sweatshirts. 

Dan is off to Hawaii for a week so I requested to borrow (kindly steal) one of his sweatshirts. Maybe more girls do it, maybe it’s just me, but I like having a sweatshirt of my boyfriend’s because it feels like a hug every time you put it on. The bonuses? Dan smells really nice so his sweatshirt smells really nice in turn and I can sniff it and pretend I’m being hugged even though he’s forever away. Also, it has his last name on the back so I can strut around like, “Hell yeah I’m his girlfriend. Hell yeah he picked me. Hell yeah I’m hella proud of him and being with him.” I really love borrowing sweatshirts so Dan, if you’re reading this, I’ll return your Drumline 2012 one…but I’ll probably borrow another one at some point. So that way you can wear them once or twice before I steal them away temporarily. Sound cool?

Alright, second topic. Gentlemen (and ladies) if you are going to check out a member of the opposite sex do so subtly. Today I had a guy give me the “full once over” with obvious head and eye movements. I won’t go on some stupid feministic rant about how hyper-sexualized our culture is right now because I am a casual checker-outer myself. But just let me say that doing the full on head-and-eyes-together-scan-that-bod look…you’re doing it wrong. WRONG. Son, that is not how you do it! At least have the courtesy to be respectful about it. I don’t care if someone looks at my butt while I walk away (Hell, I will accentuate the way I walk if I know my boyfriend is behind me, trust me, girls do that sometimes) but have some decency. If I’m checking Dan out, I do so in a way that’s not gonna draw attention or be considered rude. Unless I’m goofing around and trying to be obvious about it. 

That’s a whole other category, though. 

I’m just asking that if you’re gonna check someone out, do it in a way that is respectful to that person so they don’t feel threatened or disgusted by your (I’ll admit) kinda stupid behavior. Cool? Cool.