The boy in the picture is my crush from the 4th-8th grades. Yeah, a long time to love a boy who barely cares about your existence other than sharing several classes and him being chosen as the starring role in a bad play I directed for our English class once. Those were dark times, during which I learned how to write angsty poetry and sighed A LOT.
Anyway, it’s nearly 4am in the morning and I can’t sleep cause this stupid boy decided to crawl inside my thoughts and settle down for awhile. Apparently he likes to haunt me with the many memories I have with him. We held hands between the seats of the elementary school auditorium during the fireman visit because he knew I was terrified (and still am) of fire. He helped write a play with me in sixth grade. He and I have so many memories…I just wish they weren’t all for nothing sometimes.
I saw him at a viewing of The Princess Bride with a large group of friends just…well yesterday, now. I was dancing with Mel, my ginger girlfriend (my lesbian lover should ever I need one) when I get grabbed from behind, picked up, and spun around. “Who is that?”
“Hey, didja miss me?”
“Oh, hi David.”
Yeah, David. Or as I’ve called him through most of our 7 years of friendship, Deedee. Short, blond-brown hair and the most beautiful pair of brown eyes I have ever stared dramatically into. A great dancer with a gorgeous face and…he’s a player.
I learned THAT at a young age when he pitted me and my best friend against each other. Yeah, I used to give this kid half of my Swiss-Cake Roll at lunch every day. We sat on the same two swings at recess and talked to each other endlessly. He kissed me on the cheek under a desk during silent reading time in the fourth grade.
Ever since I’ve wanted to kiss him back.
But he is fickle when it comes to girls. He’s talented and beautiful and he knows it. He’s had plenty of girlfriends and from what I’ve heard, he’s good at playing them. He toys with people’s emotions. Just like he’s doing with me right now without even knowing it.
David is my first love. Not “was”, is. He will always have a place in my heart. Whenever I see him I will get butterflies. When he hugs me I’ll try to hold on a second or more longer just to breathe in the way he smells. I’ll get excited when he calls me, which he promised he would. I’ll think it’s cute, not obnoxious, when he tries to play Pokemon under his desk in English. I’ll laugh when his joke isn’t funny. I’ll ruffle his hair when he tells me not to. I’ll steal his hat, wave to him in the morning, make fun of his pea-coat…
I love Christian very much and no one can take his place as my boyfriend. He’s my first REAL long-term relationship and I have no intention of leaving him in the foreseeable future…
But David will always be special to me, and I will always love him.
groundlingsup 