Death Cab for Cutie

I found my new musical obsession. I love Death Cab for Cutie because their lyrics are sad, yearning, and beautiful. They have happy songs I Will Follow You Into the Dark, and sad songs Someday You Will be Loved, and songs that mix the two so beautifully, Sound of Settling. 

I really suggest this band for writers, because his voice doesn’t overpower the thinking process but it’s nice and lulling and sweet to listen to. I could just listen contently for a long time and fall asleep to it.

Have this link to the full album of TransatlanticismI would also suggest Plans

I love Plans a lot.

Daniel and Homework

Today is probably going to be spent doing a lot of homework, and maybe watching some Buffy the Vampire Slayer. I have read so much about the Papacy and the spread of Protestantism in Europe in the sixteenth century, it almost hurts. I never needed to know this much about religion. Now when the religious wars are over, hopefully I can do some fun learning about other things…like the royalty and culture. Queen Elizabeth I was a pretty fantastic woman.

On another note, Daniel bought me some rainbow shoelaces! That was a nice surprising gift. Now I can quietly participate in the gay community (yay).

I asked him to Homecoming yesterday! I had a scavenger hunt all set up and there were a bunch of different gifts to go with the different clues…it was really fun. I had a blast watching Daniel find all the different stuff and he seemed so happy all day. I love making him smile, because he always makes me so freakishly happy. Daniel deserves a lot of love.

Hey! Can I have some advice? I really love Daniel, but he’s not a super physical person. He’s very busy most of the time so we don’t get to see each other outside of school a lot, but I really enjoy physical affection. What do I do? I want to find a balance between the cute, romantic love I really enjoy and the physical cuddly affection my teenage hormones seem to demand. How do I create a relationship that makes everything (and I mean EVERYTHING) easy to talk about?

Well, I have to go take more notes about the religious and political revolutions in the sixteenth century.

Good Dreams and Bad Dreams

I feel like I’ll never sleep again

I’m clinging to the edge of consciousness

And your face looms before me

Like the dream I had the other night

The nightmare where you couldn’t

Hear or see me

That was terrifying

And I need you right here beside me

Hold me close under the covers

While you whisper in my ear

And I’ll hold onto you forever

Or at least as long as you’ll let me stick around

Cause you’re the best damn dream

I’ve ever had

Special Girl and the New Cell Phone

So I never really told you guys who I got in Sweeney Todd. I got the mute part. Great, right? No speaking lines? Well, in my high-stress life it’s been pretty great. All my lines are gesticulations, most of my cues are directed at me so I don’t have to completely pay attention to every word being said, and I get a TON of stage time. I also get to sit on the edge of the stage and mess around with the Pit (that means Daniel)!

Best part of the whole role? The mute girl’s name is Special Girl. That’s it. Not Amy or Matilda, nope. Special Girl. I am Special Girl and I’m never going to hear the end of it from my friends.

I also got a new phone. The Samsung Intensity 2 (go look up how old it is) that I bought myself in the seventh grade finally gave up the ghost after 6 years of faithful service. I got the Samsung Galaxy S4. It’s an amazing phone and for the one day I’ve had it I’ve really enjoyed it. Yay for new technology! I went from a slider phone to a touch-screen.

But hey now my music and texting is all in one spot. That’s nice.

Well, if anyone cares, that’s been my life for a bit. Work is as stressful as ever and I’m cramming all of my homework for 4 days into one day in order to get to bed at a decent time on school nights. Dan says I need to quit, but he doesn’t understand. It’s not that easy. Sometimes I just feel like my world is falling in around me and nothing can stop it. I try to explain it to him, but it usually just comes out as me complaining. First world problems, ya know?

Anyway, I need to go to bed. Night, all!

An Angry Letter to My School

I am not a child anymore. I am an adult. I can vote, I can buy cigarettes, I can get arrested, so why don’t you listen to me? You ask for my opinion, you ask me to report bullying, but you never follow through. You mark me as a problem child and say that my opinions are not valid because I am a child. But I am not, I am an adult.

I have been bullied and sexually harassed on school grounds. You did nothing. You took the boy’s side of the story and, since he was an upperclassman, said I was trying to get attention and be a more popular freshman. You think I wanted popularity? I wanted the guy who shoved his tongue down my throat and groped my breast without permission to get in trouble. Do you understand the trauma that came with that experience? I wasn’t trusting of guys for the next year or so, even in my relationship. I was terrified of being alone at school and I was hateful of the grown-ups who ignored me and my hurt.

I have to work a job that goes until 10 at night, meaning I usually don’t sleep until a little after 11. I have to get up at 6am and stay awake for roughly 17 plus hours. Between college applications, work, homework, extracurricular activities (which I apparently need to be a ‘well-rounded’ student), and school spirit things like games, I am TOTALLY SWAMPED. But you don’t respect me. What am I supposed to do?

I am only an adult when it is convenient for you, like when I fall asleep during class cause I was up till 1am doing homework. Or when I’m being bullied and try to report it, or when I’ve been sexually harassed, or when I might have something suspicious in my bag, or when I’m late because I was trying to finish that homework before class because I worked late and fell asleep at my desk before I could finish it.

Why am I not a valid human being to you? Not all teenagers are disrespectful little shits. I want to be a teacher, I understand the difficulty that is dealing with my peer group. I have to deal with them every day, and I still want to pursue a career in academia. What is your problem with considering me a real person with opinions and ideas that count?

Why don’t you listen? Why don’t you care about something other than a pep rally or a schedule mix-up? Why can’t you take care of the students that need your help? Why do you give special treatment to the quarterback who grabbed my ass and called me cutie against my will? Why don’t students with good grades and bad attitudes get punished for their misdeeds? Why does the sports team get special treatment, or the upper level choir students? Why am I a problem because I’m bringing these things up?

I’m not your problem, but you’re definitely mine.

Someday My Prince Will Come

I had the coolest freaking dream last night!

I was sitting at lunch with my friends, like normal, when suddenly I hear the beautifully orchestrated soundtrack of Disney’s Sleeping Beauty coming from the loudspeakers (This Song). Everyone quiets down and looks around, confused, including myself. When, all of a sudden, Daniel rides out from one of the wings of my school (A-Wing) ON A GIANT WHITE HORSE! Best part? He’s totally and completely in costume as Prince Philip!

He then asked to take me to Homecoming, and of course I said yes! Then his friend Bryce boosted me up on the horse next to him and we rode back to the Sparta Office where he dropped off the horse. Sadly, at this point I woke up.

But that was the coolest thing ever and I WISH someone asked me to a dance so creatively!

Week 2: Senior Sickness and the Cast List

Well the plague is sweeping through my school. My friend has it, my boyfriend has it, and I’m sure that I’ll get it (though hopefully through preventative medication I have avoided it). 

Life is pretty good, otherwise. I haven’t caught senioritis. I’ve managed to keep up with all of my homework as well as college applications and scholarship things. I’m nervous, but I’m really hoping to get into Grand Valley. That would be super nice. They have a beautiful campus, a good educational system, and a huge cultural center in Grand Rapids. Not to mention their theatre performances are audition-based, not class-based or major-based, so I could still be involved in my favorite thing. My life would be complete. 

Speaking of Theatre! The cast list for Sweeney Todd comes out today. I’m really nervous but also very excited. I really want to play Sarah Lovett, Mrs. Lovett’s daughter. I don’t have my hopes up too high, though, because I might get Special Girl or Abigail or some lesser character. Not that they aren’t important, I just don’t want to get stuck with a character part again. I’m not a good character actress.

Well, wish me luck. Or rather, don’t. Good luck is bad luck in theatre. Break a leg is what I need to hear!